Kill the Muffin-Top!

The trials and tribulations of my journey to a healthy lifestyle and weight loss.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

When It Rains It Pours

Just when life (or at least my diet) seems to be getting back on track...DE-RAIL! Saturday my MIL fell and shattered her femur in BOTH legs. FIL is still in a rehab center where he will likely remain indeffinately. As their Power of Attorney I need to find her a rehab center for the next 3-6 months. Logically she should go with her husband, but his is a workman's comp injury and hers is covered under the private insurance she will be losing any day now when FIL's employer officially "terminates" him (retires). Then there's the fact I'm no longer married to their son (haven't been for 6+ years) which only verifies to the social workers, doctors, nurses, etc. what an ass he really is (and not just according to the Ex Wife).

I'm not sleeping well this week and I'm not eating well either. Not horrible, just not "good". I haven't taken the time to count Points. I haven't exercised. Today I feel like a stuffed pork sausage (thanks to the delish 1/4 lb. mushroom swiss burger my mom bought me for lunch). Ugh. I haven't been drinking enough water either.

The good news is that I'm not BINGING...I'm too damn exhausted! Any day I don't binge is a great day I guess.

Friday, April 21, 2006

What I Am Doing

I consider today to be "Day 5" of my WW journey. Yes, I started 9 or so weeks ago but it wasn't until this past Monday I really started to stick to the program (thanks to BCB!) The tables have turned for me and I finally feel like I'm on the right path.

What I'm doing different:

I am drinking water. I never used to drink it. Although I don't always get down 8 glasses, I'm a whole lot closer to it than I was a week ago.

I am sticking to my "points". In the past, somedays I would, some days I wouldn't. Now I am! Thanks to the support of BCB I realize that I am only cheating myself if I don't stick with the program. I'm not "getting away" with something if I go over/don't count points. I'm just hurting myself.

I am not drinking soda. Or at least not much. I used to drink 1-3 cans per day and now I drink 1 can every 2-3 days and never actually finish it.

My nighttime binges are controlled. This is a huge step for me; I wish I could say "my nighttime binges are gone" but I'm not at that place yet. Soon, I promise. Now when I feel the middle of the night need to scarf I do it, for the most part, with WW friendly foods. Hot air popcorn with Molly McButter is a FAR CRY from an entire box of Little Debbie Zebra Cakes (my crack of choice in the past). Or a chunk of Laughing Cow Light cheese. And Diet Splash V8...yum, that really cures my sweet tooth during the night!

I now enjoy cooking/planning meals. Another huge step for me! I've had to run my dishwasher EVERY DAY this week; normally I need to run it every 2-3 days.

I am eating until I'm satisfied, not satisfied to be eating. Food is just fuel for my body, not fuel for my soul. It doesn't make me happy or sad. I eat it to nourish my body. Another HUGE step for me! I used to always eat dinner in bed (I turn in early). That was "my" time, when I could turn on the TV and veg out. No wonder I developed a binging disorder! Now I'm eating dinner earlier and not making it a "treat" at the end of my day.

I am not eating points just because I have them left at the end of the day. When I first started WW and had unused points at the end of the day, I would use it as an opportunity to "treat" myself with food (e.g. chocolate, ice cream, etc.) just to "use up" the points. Now if I have unused points at the end of the day I don't treat them as "free money". If I'm hungry, I eat. If I'm not hungry, I don't.

What I Am Noticing:

My clothes are starting to fit a little looser. Not tons, but I notice there's a little less of me now.
My weight loss, although small yet, is noticeable. I saw a friend the other day who I hadn't seen in a while. She knew nothing of my efforts or joining WW. She looked at me and said, "you're really losing weight!" Actually, I'm losing inches faster than pounds. And now that I'm feeling better about the changes I've made I am taking more pride in myself. I started wearing makeup again and dressing in more form-fitting clothes. I look thinner because I have sparkle in my eyes again!
I am sleeping better at night. I still have a long way to go with improving my sleep pattern but without all that sugar and grease clogging my veins at night I am sleeping much better.
My frequent heartburn is gone. No more eating Tums like candy.
I have more energy. Maybe it's the rise in my self esteem or maybe it's the healthier foods coursing through my veins. Either way, I'll take it!

What I Really Need to Do:


Thursday, April 20, 2006

Hello, This Is Me...

I guess it's time to finally share some photos. I'm not proud of them, being this is the start of my weight loss journey. But here they are nonetheless. The first one was taken in October (2005) and the one on the right was this past Christmas. These are "pre-Weight Watcher" photos.

Kickin' Butt

Things are finally coming together for me in my weight loss journey. I've found a great online support forum (BCB) and I finally feel like it's all clicking. I've discovered great recipes and tips; better yet, I'm actually putting them to good use!

Last night I weighed in with a 2 POUND LOSS. Finally! The last two weeks I shamefully gained but that won't be happening anymore. I'm shooting for an even bigger loss next week now that I'm sticking to my Points and drinking lots of water. I am now focused and kickin' butt.

Well sort of...I still need to get active. And I will, now that I feel "I can do it". This week has been nuts but I can see light at the end of the tunnel. The brat fry was a success and I survived with minimal damage. Wouldn't you know...I was assigned to work the DESSERT TABLE!!! That's right...I was responsible for cutting the desserts and placing them on little plates. There was ooey gooey stuff stuck to the knives and spatulas but I didn't snitch. I had to wash those empty pans filled with sinful globs of goo but not once did I drag my fingers thru it! This in itself is a miracle. I just DON'T bypass such temptation. Or shall I say, "I used to never bypass such temptation". This was my "ah-ha" moment when I realized that I CAN do this. I won't say the temptation wasn't there but it didn't get the best of me. I stood firm and slayed that Dessert Monster!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Back on Track - WOO HOO!!

Yesterday was a great day as far as eating healthy. I even ended the day with 8 leftover points. Usually I'd welcome those points as an allowed freebie of junk food to satisfy me. But with careful planning I had a satisfying and filling day and really didn't need to finish off the remaining points. I also drank 64 oz. of water, a first for me in a long time. I felt good and slept decent so it's nice to know I've put myself back on track!

Today's challenging schedule puts me smack dab in the middle of a brat fry for most of the evening. I know I'll end up hungry by the time it's all said and done. I've strategically planned my day so I will not go to the fry hungry yet will have enough points left to allow myself a burger at the end of my shift. It feels great to know I can still enjoy such indulgences without throwing it all out the window. As for the beans, potato salad & homemade desserts...I can stay strong without giving in. After all, I am in charge of what goes into my mouth and I must live with the consequences. As the old saying goes, "Nothing tastes as good as being thin!"

A close co-worker has rejoined WW and I have found it to be a big help. Most people here don't know I've joined WW because 80% of them are overweight, many moreso than me. This is my journey that a choose to only share with close friends. Now that K is following WW we share recipes, foods, etc. She'll bring me something and say, "try this, it's only 2 points!" and I do the same. It's a nice way to find new foods/recipes and share support. I have found it's easier for me to stay OP now that I have a partner in crime nearby!

My schedule this week is making it near impossible to attend a meeting but in a way that's okay. This is my first week of really being on track 100% and I'm afraid if I weigh in with another small gain this week I'll become more discouraged. Besides, I purchased the season pass which starts next week so I know I'll be able to afford meetings until the end of August. My own personal goal is to lose a significant amount of weight (within healthy guidelines of course) by the time my season pass expires. I will of course continue WW but I hope the summer will bring great results for me. It should...I'll have lots of fresh veggies in the garden and spend a lot of time gardening all summer long. Improve my eating and long as I stay committed, I can't go wrong!

This week's favorite meal has been Campbell's Select Gold Label "Italian Tomato with Basil & Garlic" soup for only 1 point per serving! It's not your average tomato soup; rich in flavor with natural bits of goodness. So I'm bad at descriptions - but it's just damn good! Friday night I chopped up some fresh zucchini, added some seasonings and sprayed with Mazola Olive Oil spray. I put it in a foil packet on the grill...very yummy!! I'm new to grilling and this was a definate keeper. I'll be making this frequently throughout the summer!

Have a great day!

Monday, April 17, 2006

Easter Aftermath

The Easter holiday didn't go as smoothly as I predicted last week. It's my fault; I gave myself excuses I chose to accept instead of being true to myself and my commitment to stick to Weight Watchers. Shame on me, but yesterday is now the past and I can only live in the present and look to the future.

Last night and today I have suffered for my betrayal. I finally realize just how awful I felt before starting WW, when I was eating anything and everything in sight and nighttime binges controlled me. I had trouble sleeping last night and oh, the heartburn. And bizzare dreams. So lethargic...I layed around on the couch last night which is SO unlike me. Did I mention today's unbearable gas?!?! My poor co-workers...No hiding it today.

This morning I jumped right back on track and I'm counting points again. Kashi hot cereal for breakfast and some green beans for a snack. So far, too gassy for lunch! Lots of much as I can choke down today. Thank goodness for True Lemon!

This week is going to be extra challenging. A local community group I'm a member of is having a brat fry tomorrow night and then the annual meeting (in which I move from member to officer). Tonight we have to set up as much as possible (chairs & tables, cut buns, fill coolers, etc.) It's a big local event so the next two nights will be crazy for me. Not to mention trying to get my daughter back on track with school (she's been on spring break the last several days) and Thursday night she starts soccer. Last night I was so incredibly lazy from the feasting so I didn't prepare meals for the week ahead which I like to do on Sundays. Looks like I'll be eating a lot of prepared soup (filling and low on points). I will not fail!

Friday, April 14, 2006

S'mores Mini Bars

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I sort of "fell off the WW wagon" and had trouble getting back on track. I faced the scale and took the bull by the horns, no more excuses. I've been back OP for a week now and although the scale is still punishing me for my betrayal, I feel great and my attitude couldn't be better! My mindset seems to be 80% of the battle and I now have control of it so look out!

Last night I picked up the new S'mores Mini Bars at my meeting. WOW, are they ever good!! Only 1 point each and filled with chocolaty good sweetness. I decided to use my newfound love (s'mores mini bars) as incentive to get my butt on the treadmill again. For every day I spend at least 20 minutes on the treadmill, I get to treat myself with ONE of these little goddesses. That sounds fair doesn't it?! My exercise habits have been sorely lacking and this will be a prime area of focus for me this week.

It's a beautiful Spring day here in Wisconsin so I've decided to take the afternoon off from work. I have my grocery list ready and I am going to try out some new recipes I found at the BCC forum. Someone posted the point values of common Easter candies. YIKES!! Glad I stumbled across that post before the Easter Bunny comes so I'm not tempted. 5 points for one peanut butter egg is NOT my idea of a treat!

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and a Happy Easter!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Beatin' the Odds...Finally?!

It seems life forever and a day since my tiny home of 2 PEOPLE has been illness-free. Nasty colds and draining flu bugs have been attacking my daughter and I both since the week of Chistmas. It seems I've had it the worst which I'll gladly take over my daughter being sick. Monday evening I was hit hard with the flu - I won't go into details but it wasn't pleasant, I assure you!

Knock-on-wood, everyone seems to be almost healthy again. I had enough energy to get out of bed today which is always a good thing. The sun is shining and spring is here. In fact, 4 robins were fighting this morning as I was getting in the car to leave for work and one actually touched my hair as it flew by! Now birds just don't get that close to humans around here. In fact, the birds continued to quarrel so close to the car that I was afraid they'd get inside, so I jumped in screaming and slammed the door. It's one of those "guess you had to be there" things, but the lady across the street sure got a good laugh as she was letting her dogs out!

I'm ashamed to admit that the ongoing illness in our house has been a poor excuse for not eating properly. I've really fallen off the wagon with counting points. On the plus side, I have yet to experience a weight gain since starting WW and have weighed in with a LOSS at every weigh in. Yeah Me! The losses haven't been great but they're there. I've lost 8+ pounds so far which is so pathetically small I should be ashamed. Yet I have to remind myself that if I hadn't joined WW I'd still more than likely be gaining weight. I really need to get back to attending meetings each week instead of quickly weighing in and doging out the door. Wish the meetings were closer to the town I live in.