Kill the Muffin-Top!

The trials and tribulations of my journey to a healthy lifestyle and weight loss.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Still Binging...

I don't know what to do, I'm still suffering from middle-of-the-night binges. I wake halfway during the night, stumble through the dark and raid the cupboards or fridge, and stuff my face with whatever trips my trigger at that particular moment. It's really getting out of control because I can't seem to stop. Once I'm fully awake (surely from the mounds of sugar I recently inhaled) I feel sick and guilty. Sometimes if I eat a LOT of sugar I find myself gagging it up in my sleep. This can't be normal, and I know it's not healthy.

Each night I go to bed with the best of intentions and end up failing. It doesn't matter if I have a great day of healthy eating or chow down McDonalds for dinner...the cravings/binges always come. And yes, I've tried removing all sugar from the house. Then I end up binging on something night it was half a jar of salty sunflower seeds; last night it was slices of cheese. Regardless, I wake up depressed, frustrated with myself, and just down right feeling crappy (physically). It seems like a losing battle - surely there is a way to break this cycle? It's super frustrating when I eat healthy all day and then end up consuming a day's worth of calories on sugar & fat. I know this is why my weight is out of control. Until I can gain control of my binges, the weight will never come off and I will never be "healthy".

Try and try again, maybe tonight will be different....

After last night's binge of chocolate candies (and the aforementioned cheese) I woke in a foul mood. It didn't help that my DD woke me up a few times during the night, plus all the times I woke to binge and pee. I was an out of control monster this morning as we overslept and I had to come to work looking like crap once again. Once I got to work and ate my new favorite meal (soup) I felt somewhat better and optimistic. I had a tangerine for my morning snack. I've planned to eat lentil and ham soup for lunch, which should help "clean out" last night's "sins". Never really had lentils before but I made a big pot of lentil soup over the weekend. Sure hope it tastes good because I'll be eating it for days to come...


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