Kill the Muffin-Top!

The trials and tribulations of my journey to a healthy lifestyle and weight loss.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Happy Birthday To Me!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! I've certainly spent enough time dreading this day but now that it's here, dare I say it...I almost feel special today?! Turning 35 seemed like a really big deal to me, not that I consider it "old" in anyway. But I feel like I've wasted a lot of good years, especially the last few. I let my health and appearance go to hell, and for that I'm ashamed. But all hope is not lost...

I decided to bite the bullet and joined Weight Watchers last Friday night. I intended on using the membership primarily for the accountability of weighing myself publicly once a week, and didn't hold a lot of stock into their eating program. I'll admit I went into it quite skeptical - you mean I can eat whatever I want, as long as I stay within my points?! Surely a program that would allow me to eat CRAP won't work... But once I got home with my books and literature I pulled out my handy dandy calcualator and realized, if I eat CRAP during the day, there won't be many points to hold me over until the next day. And once I started adding up the "points" of a typical day for me I realized this could actually work!

I weighed in at my all-time high weight: 203.8 lbs. UGH!!! But I purposely joined when I was at my worst, and when Aunt Flo was visiting. Start with the worst situation and it can only get better from their, right? I actually started to follow the "Points" system and it's almost become a game for me. Oh to my surprise and joy last night when I discovered my last remaining 5 points allowance was exactly the number of points one serving (15 pieces) of Kit Kat Bites are. For the first time in a LONG time I ate that candy without feeling guilty. I savored each and every bite, instead of the normal inhaling I would've done last week. And I proudly measured out one serving and didn't go one bite over. This may not sound like a big deal to most, but it was truly a monumental event for me. And it actually gave me hope that I can make this happen.

And another "good sign"...my aunt gave me a bag of Hershey Kisses with Almonds for my birthday and I immediately gave them away. I know, I could've had a few, but in all honesty if I would've had one I would've ended up eating the entire bag. Another baby step which NEVER would've happened a week ago, when I was still living on faulty excuses and "next times".

Today is Day 4 on the Points system. My scale is down 5+ pounds from Friday. I know it's a result of several things but it gives me hope that I might actually have a loss at my next weigh-in.

I've carefully rationed out my points for my birthday dinner. Nothing fancy, but we're going to my favorite pizza place and they have the best wine. I've already figured out how many pieces of pizza and glasses of wine I can have without "going over". In the past I would've eaten nearly a whole pizza myself plus cheese garlic bread. I can guarantee I won't be doing that tonight!

As for the nighttime binging...it's actually somewhat under control. This accountability I'm holding myself to is really helping. I won't say it's easy, but it sure helps win the battle when I'm struggling with myself. Actually, that's why I don't have a lot of flex points left for tonight's festivities. I've been counting my nighttime binging points which is only fair to myself. For example, last night I "binged" on whole grain toast with natural peanut butter and honey, a glass of skim milk and some unsalted roasted sunflower seeds. Woo Hoo, go nuts! A week ago a typical nighttime binge was an entire box of Little Debbie Zebra Cakes. NOW CAN YOU SEE WHY I'M FEELING SOME SUCCESS?!

I'll be sure to check in again tomorrow with tonight's results...wish me luck!

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