Kill the Muffin-Top!

The trials and tribulations of my journey to a healthy lifestyle and weight loss.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Do or Die

Okay, so today's title is a little dramatic. But that's how I feel: do or die. My weight and eating habits continue to spiral out of control despite my self pep talks and half-assed efforts. I pumped myself up for a dedicated effort this morning; fresh week, new start, blah blah blah. What went wrong?

My dog was thrilled to receive a ham bone from Grandma yesterday. He knawed on that thing for countless hours. My dog happens to be a cockapoo, and a small one at that (about 10 lbs.) I'm still not sure if he swallowed something he shouldn't have or if he just over did it, but last night he woke me crying to be let outside 4 TIMES. It was damn cold outside last night (February in Wisconsin ain't for whimps). And each time, he couldn't poop. Poor little fella. (You'll be happy to know I went home during my lunch break to let him out and he did finally go!)

After a restless night without quality sleep (what a crappy way to start the week) the alarm went off and I turned on the local news. An Amber Alert was issued moments later for 3 sisters who were abducted from their home which happens to be be about 5 miles from me. One of the girls is my daughter's age (8) and it just hit too close to home. Instead of preparing for the day ahead I found myself glued to the news awaiting updates and peeking out the window to look for signs of the getaway car. (Fortunately the girls were found a short time later, unharmed).

Then my dog decided to sneak a sucker (chocolate tootsie pop to be exact) from the coffee table (my daughter's sucker, not mine!). I took it from the dog and went to pick him up to put him in the kitchen and he tried attacking me! He's never done this before and I'm hoping it was due to a sore digestive system. He actually bruised the back of my hand with his teeth, although he didn't break the skin. I had to snatch him up with a blanket to get him back in his kennel without getting bit harder. Freak!

I grabbed a frozen container of lentil soup from the freezer for lunch and a Lean Cuisine sandwhich from the freezer for breakfast. I got to work a little flustered from the morning's activities, but was determined my luck would improve. HA! I went to put my breakfast in the fridge and whoops! It slid off the box and landed on the kitchen floor - upside down of course. So during coffee break I ran across the street to Subway and made a healthy choice. Then I learned (within minutes) that 2 family friends passed away over the weekend (completely unrelated to each other). Bummer. What next?!

I'll tell ya what next...a Nutty Bar and an A&W Root Beer from the vending machine, then a huge chocolate eau'clair donut from a co-worker. Damn, what a lunch! Now I feel even MORE bloated and fat from all the pure crap I ate this weekend. I was BAD.

I'm running out of "chances" here and need to get my ass in gear. It's gotta happen, and only I can turm things around. I've been considering joining Weight Watchers for the accountibility aspect - it seems that so many people who have been successful on the blogs I've read all belonged to WW. I know it would help knowing I had to publicly weigh in every week, but I don't live in a city and being a single mom, I might not be able to make a lot of the meetings. I guess I have to decide if it's really worth it for me. Hmmmm...


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