Kill the Muffin-Top!

The trials and tribulations of my journey to a healthy lifestyle and weight loss.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Still hangin' on

I just spent a helluva lot ot time the last few days reading dietgirl's archieves. WOW, what a truly inspriational story. I really admire this woman for her efforts, her persistence, her honesty. I laughed. I cried. And best of all, it's not a novel, it's the real thing baby!

I now realize several things after reading her journey:
1) There are good days and there are bad days, and somedays are just "there". No matter what, I have to keep picking myself up and trudging on thru whatever life my throw my way.
2) Without exercise, I have nothing. I need to get my body moving. To quote dietgirl, "exercise is GOLD". All the dieting and healthy eating in the world won't bring me to where I want to be. It might make me thinner, but it will never make me strong and fit. And that is where I really want to be.
3) It's okay to hate my body sometimes, as long as I truly love it in the end. It's mine, love it or leave it. Get mad, curse it or savor it...just respect it in the morning.
4) Anything can happen. Life's a journey, not a destination.

Maybe it's all in my mind, but yesterday's trip to the indoor waterpark seemed to be quite an unusual venture for me. I only spent part of the time obsessing that I looked like a harpooned whale out of water while sitting poolside; I noticed that although there are thinner women out there, in that situation I could hold my own, cottage cheese thighs and all. In fact, I may have lumpy thighs the size of large tree trunks and my arms may be flabby enough to cause a ripple effect throughout the pool, but I'm not a dog. I'm not freakishly obese. What about the average-sized woman I saw walking with a toddler? Her ass was so freekishly large and bouncy I couldn't turn away - how does one get such a large, round ass that size and not be visibly overweight anywhere else? Now that poor woman must have problems! And yet nobody was running and screaming the other direction. No small children were pointing and staring. And that's when I realized...maybe, just maybe, all these years of being too hard on myself were wasted years? Naw, that couldn't be the case, could it?!

So I'm "down to" 197 lbs. Big F'ing Whoop De Doo. I'm not breaking any records or setting the world on fire. But I WILL lose this weight. And I WILL get in shape. And I WILL teach my daughter that being healthy is a privledge that nobody should take for granted. We all need to honor our bodies a lot more and complain about it a lot less.

Thank you Shauna, aka are truly my hero!


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