Kill the Muffin-Top!

The trials and tribulations of my journey to a healthy lifestyle and weight loss.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Leave Me Alone!

LEAVE ME ALONE!! Sorry if that seems rude, but I just wish the world would leave me the f*&ck alone! I've had a hell of a few weeks...or should I say months?

Started with the ex-father-in-law falling off a ladder and breaking the 2nd vertebrae in his neck. Did I mention he's 74? Then he developed pneumonia 24 hours after having a screw put in his neck to repair the break. Ten hours after that he had a heart attack. My ex husband is nothing but a selfish asshole and sure hasn't stepped up the plate to help his parents out. His mom is in bad health and shouldn't be left alone, although she has been now since the weekend of Thanksgiving due to B's fall. (The in-laws actually made ME power of attorney for them a few years ago, after the divorce, instead of their own son - does that tell ya anything?!)

Then there was my foolishly offering to help with the Christmas Eve Sunday School Program at church this year. Being somewhat of a new member I didn't see what was coming...basically I had to put the entire thing togther, from parts to costumes, of direct it to make sure it went off without a hitch. And this is a church of 500+ members, so I'm not talking about directing a dozen or so kids. This was a big deal.

Then there's the normal holiday stress in my family. To put it simply, my mom becomes a raging, psychotic lunatic by the time Christmas Eve Day arrives. I can thank her for the "spread myself too thin" genes (and I don't mean thin as in body thinness). The holidays are anything but celebratory, reflective, or dare I admit it, enjoyable. Both my parents are remarried so essentially I have 4 sets of parent's families to be with, not to mention they all have 3-4 siblings so we get together at different times with the aunts, uncles, cousins, cousin's kids, etc. I'm embarassed to admit that it was nothing but days upon days of social obligations which were nothing short of pure hell, all of which required me to prepare and bring food that didn't get eaten because everywhere we went had enough food to feed a family 4 times the size of ours.

By the 8th engagement in 3 days (this on top of trying to celebrate Christmas with my daughter and squeeze in the new boyfriend & his family). By Monday I was sick and I knew it, although the show must go on. I envied my mom when she began puking at a family gathering because she was lucky enough to leave; did I mention I'd had a nasty case of the flu myself the week before Christmas? Nothing like being down and out just days before Ground Zero. Anyhoo, I spent the following week+ suffering a nasty sinus infection, one that left me unable to taste or smell anything for more than a week.

Then there's Hunter, the only really special animal we own (2 cats, 2 dogs). Wednesday I discovered him straining to pee on my bedroom floor (carpeted). After several minutes and nothing coming out, I knew we had a problem Houston. I called the vet when I got to work who insisted I drive back home, pick up the cat and drop him off at the clinic for the day. Ok....done. Then I learned what I suspected; the cat has crystals. An exam, urine test, shot, antibiotics and special food...all to the tune of just under $200....the cat is home and doing fine. BUT, it seems the cat had been using my bedroom floor as a litter box for days, if not the entire time I was sick and unable to smell! I can sure smell now...OMG, does my room smell like cat piss!! I have tried several products with no what do I do?!

And let's not forget that on Monday as it was foggy & rainy outside all damn day long, my sump pump went out. Eeeww...not what I needed the first day I was out of bed in almost a week. Needless to say, I now know how to remove, purchase, and reinstall a new sump pump. Fun eh? Thanks to my BF who came to my rescue...

The sun hasn't shown here in well over a week. The unseasonably warm weather has melted all traces of snow and left the yards muddy. Come March, this would be great. But it's January in Wisconsin and we might as well have some pretty snow to disguise these miserably gloomy days. It's sure not helping my mood, let me tell ya. And this weekend's snowmobiling trip to Michigan has been cancelled due to the lack of snow. Bummer.

My basement looks like a bomb exploded in it. I'm so behind on things that I still have summer sundresses hanging in my closet! The basement is so cluttered I can't walk in it and yes, I'll admit that my first instincts when seeing the sump pump backing up in my basement was "oh shit, how am I going to make this presentable enough for a plumber to come fix this?!" I hadn't eaten in days after being sick and had zero energy for stacking boxes.

The Christmas tree is still up and the timer still turns the lights on outside at night. I think I'm the only one in town who still has lights on and the tree up. Even worse, all the presents are still under the tree and until I clean the basement & my daughter's room (which also took a beating over the holidays and through my illnesses), I really can't put it all away. So much for spending January repainting my kitchen cabinets!

Then there's the BF who really can't understand why I'm so stressed and want some time alone to get things done at home. He has no kids; hell, he goes to his parent's house every night after work for dinner! His concept of reality and my concept of reality aren't even on the same planet. He's trying to be supportive and understanding but the more he tries to analyze my tension, the further I want to push him away. Surely I never said I wanted a man who's a good communicator, did I?! Why can't he just go pout and get drunk with his buddies like most men would do?!

OH YEAH, I also forgot to mention that once I got sick I decided it was high time for me to take advantage of the opportunity and quit smoking, once and for all. I'm doing great, no cheating (not even one puff), but I suppose this may have a tiny bit to do with me "go the hell away and shut the door on your way out" attitude?! Um, just a little I bet.


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